Saturday, July 25, 2009

Robin Hood


I was really surprised when I saw stealing in the list of coping mechanisms
in *The Courage to Heal*. I though, other people do that too?! This is what
the book has to say- "Stealing is a totally absorbing activity. It enables
you to forget everything for a brief moment—including the abuse. It is a way
to create distraction or excitement, to re-create the feelings you had when
you were first abused—guilt, terror, the rush of adrenaline. Stealing is
also a way of defying authority, and attempt to take back what was stolen,
to even the score."

Put me in the "even the score" category. I was pissed, especially in high
school when I was trying to break away from my parents and escape the abuse,
but my dad just became more and more violent with me. I started doing all
sorts of rebellious little things (without wanting him to find out, though. I was
defying him in secret.) I started smoking, drinking, and shoplifting. I took
satisfaction in the idea that he couldn't control me, regardless of
what he thought. I quit shoplifting when I moved to Seattle. The first time
I tried it, I got caught (I just got kicked out of the store, so no police)
and I never did it again.

1 comment:

Carrie said...

I don't know how or why I didn't acquire the stealing symptom after it happened to me.