Wednesday, December 23, 2009

I'm taking a ride

I got my finger zapped this evening. I'm getting laser tattoo removal on the tattoo on my finger. Thankfully this is the only tattoo regret that I have. They upgraded the machine since last time, so it hurt extra bad. My finger is a little swollen and throbby now. This was my 10th treatment, and it's close to being done. There is just a faint blue blob.

I am so tired tonight. Last night I slept poorly. Nightmares again. From what I remember, it was very Alice in Wonderland because people kept changing sizes. There were adults and children that became very tiny, and children that turned into adults suddenly, but then became small. There was a lot of hiding, so the small size was better for hiding but very scary as well, because if you were found you could be squashed. There was also falling long distances, and machinery. Scary industrial machines. It was very imaginative.

I woke up around 3:30 am all terrified. It was hard to open my eyes, and it seemed dark and cold and flat in my room. I felt small, like I had shrunk during the night. My shoulders and neck were completely stiff. I turned on the light next to my bed, held my dragon and cactus doll to my chest and slowly crept out of my bedroom. There was a faint hissing coming from the living room, which turned out to be the heater. I turned on the lights around my apartment until it seemed more warm and bright. There were still shadows, but at least it seemed like my apartment again. I don't know what I was afraid of. It felt like I was somewhere else. I was trying to orient myself back into the present, not knowing where the hell I was coming back from.

1 comment:

Opal said...

It's so disorienting when dreams are really powerful like that - sometimes the dream feels more real than being awake and being awake feels like the dream.